“I feel like ABA therapy has taken over our entire life.”
If you’ve found yourself thinking this, you’re expressing something that countless families experience but rarely discuss openly. When your child begins ABA therapy, the reality of 20-40 hours per week of intensive intervention can feel overwhelming. Suddenly, your calendar is filled with therapy sessions, and you’re wondering: When do we have family dinner? What about my other children? When do I get a moment to breathe?
You’re not selfish for wanting balance—you’re being a thoughtful parent who understands that your entire family’s wellbeing matters. Let’s explore how to create a sustainable approach that supports your child’s therapy goals while preserving the family connections and personal time that keep everyone healthy and happy.
The Reality of ABA Scheduling Challenges
Research consistently shows that intensive ABA therapy yields better outcomes, but families often struggle with the practical demands of implementation. Families deal with their own pressures too. They feel the need to meet expectations, use strategies at home, and keep track of progress, while simultaneously managing work schedules, school commitments, and the needs of other family members.
The scheduling reality is complex: unlike other therapies that might require one or two hours weekly, ABA therapy sessions can range from multiple short sessions to full-day programs. Parents frequently find themselves navigating logistics that feel more demanding than a full-time job, especially when you factor in preparation time, travel, and the emotional energy required to support your child through intensive therapy.
Understanding that these feelings are normal—not a sign of inadequate commitment to your child’s progress—is the first step toward creating sustainable solutions that work for your unique family situation.
Supporting Siblings Through the ABA Journey
One of the most heart-wrenching aspects of ABA therapy for many families involves siblings. They may feel overshadowed by the attention given to their sibling, leading to a range of emotions such as jealousy, frustration, or confusion. Additionally, the long hours required for ABA therapy can impact family routines.
Your other children are navigating their own complex emotions about their sibling’s autism diagnosis, the sudden influx of therapists in their home, and the reality that family plans now revolve around therapy schedules. These feelings are completely natural and don’t reflect poorly on your neurotypical children’s character.
Practical Strategies for Supporting Siblings:
Create dedicated one-on-one time with each child, even if it’s just 15 minutes of focused attention daily. Schedule regular family activities that don’t involve therapy goals—movie nights, park visits, or cooking together where the focus is purely on family connection.
You are encouraged to include siblings in age-appropriate ways by asking your child’s ABA team for specific activities that siblings can do together. This transforms therapy from something that separates the family into something that can occasionally bring them together.
Maintain open communication by encouraging siblings to express their feelings and concerns. Many children benefit from simple explanations about autism and therapy that help them understand why their sibling needs extra support.
Preserving Family Time and Routines
A structured day allows the whole family to get involved in practicing important skills, strengthening family bonds and continuity of care, but this doesn’t mean every family moment should become a teaching opportunity.
Effective families learn to distinguish between “therapy time” and “family time.” While it’s beneficial to incorporate learned strategies naturally into daily routines, your family also needs unstructured moments where you simply enjoy each other’s company without developmental goals in mind.
Creating Balance in Daily Life:
Work with your ABA team to create collaborative scheduling that accommodates school, work, and family priorities. Many families find success in “piggybacking” therapy sessions—having your child go directly from one therapy to ABA to minimize transition time and maximize family time later.
Establish predictable family routines that happen regardless of therapy schedules. This might mean protecting dinner time as a family meal, maintaining bedtime stories, or preserving Saturday morning pancakes as a family tradition.
Use everyday activities strategically by incorporating learned skills naturally into grocery shopping, meal preparation, or family outings, making therapy practice feel less formal and more integrated into normal life.
Managing Parent Stress and Avoiding Burnout
Providing support to a child with autism through intensive ABA therapy can be exhausting for caregivers. Burnout is common. The constant vigilance required to implement strategies consistently, combined with work responsibilities and family management, creates a perfect storm for parental exhaustion.
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential for sustainable family functioning. When you’re overwhelmed and depleted, your ability to support both your child’s therapy and your family’s emotional needs diminishes significantly.
Practical Self-Care Strategies:
Schedule dedicated breaks by sharing responsibilities among family members or utilizing respite care services when available. Even brief periods of personal time help prevent the accumulation of stress that leads to burnout.
Join parent support groups where you can share experiences with other families facing similar challenges. The validation and practical tips from others who truly understand your situation can be invaluable.
Practice honest communication with your therapy team about what’s working and what isn’t. Good BCBAs want to create sustainable programs that support your entire family, not just your child’s immediate therapy goals.
Financial and Logistical Considerations
Many families discover that the practical aspects of ABA therapy extend beyond scheduling. Funding limitations may place a cap on the number of therapy hours covered, which can limit the intensity or duration of ABA therapy, requiring families to make difficult decisions about treatment versus other family needs.
Transportation, missed work hours, childcare for siblings during therapy sessions, and the mental load of coordinating multiple schedules all impact family resources. Acknowledging these realities doesn’t diminish your commitment to your child—it demonstrates realistic planning that benefits everyone.
Work with your therapy team to optimize available hours by focusing on the most impactful goals for your child and family situation. Sometimes a slightly less intensive program that your family can sustain long-term produces better outcomes than an overwhelming schedule that leads to burnout.
Setting Realistic Boundaries and Expectations
While ABA therapy is essential for skill development and behavior modification, it’s also important to consider the bigger picture. Your family’s mental health, relationships, and overall quality of life significantly impact your child’s long-term success.
Effective boundary-setting might mean declining additional therapy recommendations when your family is already at capacity, choosing therapy schedules that allow for adequate family time, or modifying goals based on what your family can realistically support.
Remember that progress in a loving, low-stress environment often surpasses progress achieved through programs that overwhelm family systems. Your child needs therapy, but they also need a family that’s functioning well and has emotional resources available for connection and support.
Creating Your Family’s Unique Balance
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to balancing ABA therapy with family life. Families play a crucial role in this decision-making process, as their support and involvement are key to the success of ABA therapy.
Start by identifying your family’s non-negotiable priorities—perhaps it’s family dinner time, sibling sports activities, or weekend family outings. Build your therapy schedule around these anchors rather than trying to fit family life into therapy gaps.
Communicate openly with your therapy team about your family’s constraints and values. Effective ABA programs adapt to support families, not overwhelm them. The goal is creating sustainable progress that enhances your child’s life while preserving the family relationships that provide love, security, and motivation for continued growth.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know if we’re doing too much therapy versus not enough?
It’s important to strike a balance between therapy and other parts of your child’s daily life. Therapy should complement the child’s regular activities, including school, social interactions, and recreational time. Signs of too much include family stress, sibling behavioral changes, or your child showing therapy fatigue. Work with your BCBA to find the sweet spot that maximizes progress while maintaining family wellbeing.
What should I do when siblings complain about all the attention their brother/sister gets?
This is completely normal and understandable. Maintain open and honest communication within the family. Encourage siblings to express their feelings and concerns, and involve them in the process as appropriate. Schedule one-on-one time with each child, acknowledge their feelings as valid, and consider sibling support groups or family counseling if needed.
How can I manage work schedules around intensive ABA therapy hours?
Talk with your ABA provider about flexible scheduling options that work with your employment situation. Many providers offer early morning, evening, or weekend sessions. Consider discussing accommodation options with your employer, utilizing family support systems, or exploring whether some therapy can occur at school or daycare settings.
Is it okay to take breaks from therapy for family vacations or special events?
Yes, family time and experiences are important for your child’s overall development. While consistency is essential, flexibility is equally important when adjusting the therapy schedule to accommodate family needs. Work with your therapy team to plan around important family events and maintain some therapy elements during breaks when possible.
How do I prevent ABA therapy from taking over our entire family identity?
Focus on maintaining family traditions and activities that exist separately from therapy goals. Respect Family Time: Schedule therapy in a way that allows for quality family time. Family bonding is just as important for the child’s emotional and social development. Remember that your child is first and foremost a member of your family, not just a therapy participant.