When ABA Therapy Feels Overwhelming: Managing Parent Burnout While Supporting Your Child

When your child begins ABA therapy, your attention naturally centers on their progress. But if you’ve noticed your other children acting out more or seeming unusually quiet, you’re not imagining things. ABA therapy reshapes your entire family dynamic.

You might worry your other children feel left behind while you coordinate therapy schedules. These concerns are valid. Understanding how siblings experience this journey can make a meaningful difference in keeping your family connected.

The Emotional Experience Siblings Navigate

Siblings encounter complex feelings that shift day by day. Research from the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders shows neurotypical siblings often develop increased empathy and maturity, yet may also experience anxiety about unequal parental attention.

Your other children might feel proud when their sibling masters a new skill, then guilty for feeling jealous. They may want to help but feel unsure how. According to NIH research, siblings sometimes take on caregiving responsibilities beyond their developmental stage, creating emotional burden alongside growth.

These feelings are normal responses to family transition—not failures in parenting.

What Siblings Need From You

Your other children need acknowledgment, information, and individual attention—intentional moments woven into existing routines, not added hours.

Acknowledgment means creating space for honesty. Check in regularly: “How are things feeling for you?” When siblings express frustration, validate rather than fix: “That sounds really hard.”

Age-appropriate information reduces fear. Younger children (ages 3-7): “Your brother’s brain works differently, and his therapist helps him learn.” Older children: Explain how autism assessments work and how ABA builds skills through positive reinforcement.

Quality attention matters more than quantity. Even 15 undivided minutes—a weekly breakfast, special bedtime routine, or letting them choose weekend activities—means more than distracted hours together.

Involving Siblings in Therapy

Whether siblings should participate depends on your child’s needs, therapy setting, and other children’s ages. Research shows sibling involvement can strengthen bonds when approached thoughtfully, but it isn’t mandatory.

Some BCBAs welcome siblings in activities focused on social play or turn-taking. This helps siblings understand what their brother or sister is learning. However, forcing participation rarely benefits anyone.

Discuss sibling involvement with your BCBA. They can suggest age-appropriate ways to contribute: playing games that practice social skills, acting as communication partners, or learning simple prompting techniques.

Some families find siblings benefit most from parallel support—their own activities or support groups for siblings of children with autism.

Managing the Logistics

When your child receives 10-20 hours of weekly therapy, coordinating schedules requires skills no parenting book taught you. Something will fall through the cracks sometimes—missed performances, forgotten permission slips, cereal for dinner. This doesn’t make you a failing parent.

Communicate openly with your therapy team about family constraints. At Kuska Autism Services, BCBAs work with families to find scheduling solutions that minimize disruption—flexible time slots or adjusted intensity during demanding seasons.

Visual schedules showing when therapy happens, when siblings get parent time, and when the family connects together help children anticipate your attention. Consider enlisting extended family or parent networks for transportation support.

When Sibling Relationships Strengthen

While challenges are real, many families discover unexpected gifts. Siblings often develop deeper empathy, patience, and advocacy skills. Research finds that neurotypical siblings frequently become powerful advocates for inclusion and neurodiversity.

Supporting your whole family—not just the child in therapy—creates the strongest foundation for everyone’s wellbeing.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I explain ABA therapy to my younger children without scaring them?

Use simple language focused on what’s happening rather than medical terms. For young children (ages 3-6): “Your sister is learning new ways to tell us what she wants. Her therapist is like a special teacher.” For older children (ages 7-12): “Autism means your brother’s brain processes things differently. ABA therapy teaches skills in small steps using rewards.” Answer questions honestly using age-appropriate terms, and reassure them that autism isn’t contagious and doesn’t mean their sibling doesn’t love them.

Should siblings attend ABA therapy sessions, and if so, how often?

It depends on your child receiving therapy, your other children’s ages, and your BCBA’s recommendations. Some children benefit from occasional involvement in play-based activities, helping siblings understand what their brother or sister is learning. However, participation should never be mandatory. Start with short, optional visits and let your other children guide their involvement. Quality matters more than quantity—brief, positive interactions can strengthen sibling bonds.

What do I do when my other children say they feel ignored or less important?

First, validate their feelings: “I hear you, and I understand why you feel that way. You’re important to me.” Acknowledge reality: “Your sister’s therapy takes a lot of my time, and I’m sorry that’s hard.” Follow up with action—schedule dedicated one-on-one time (15-20 minutes), establish a routine that’s just theirs, and ask: “What would help you feel more connected?” Regular acknowledgment combined with consistent individual attention significantly reduces feelings of neglect.

How do I balance celebrating my child’s ABA milestones without making my other children feel overlooked?

Celebrate therapy achievements with enthusiasm while recognizing your other children’s accomplishments equally. Ensure praise flows to all children regularly. You might say: “Your brother worked so hard to use words—that’s huge!” then later: “You solved that tough problem yourself—I’m so proud!” Some families use a “celebration board” where everyone’s wins get displayed equally. Siblings respond well when parents acknowledge different achievements rather than implying therapy milestones are more important.

What resources exist specifically for siblings of children with autism?

The Autism Society has a SibShops program providing recreational activities and peer support. The Sibling Support Project offers resources and online communities where siblings can connect with others who understand their experiences. Many autism centers host sibling support groups. Explore books for siblings at different ages, such as “Why Is My Brother Different?” for younger children. If you’re seeking autism services in Utah, your BCBA can recommend local sibling resources in the Bountiful and Draper areas.